Hi, B.B.!

You give good advice and your newsletters are fun too! I can't wait to see the new "Wizards of Waverly Place" episode that you guys are on! The pictures from the gallery look cool!

I wish I had a real dragon inside me because I have been putting up with this bully at school and it would be nice to scare her off with some dragon fire! She's bigger than me and she's popular so she's been turning people against me. I don't know how she has friends because she's so mean and bossy! Would I have more friends if I was mean and bossy? What should I do? I hate going to school now.

Lindsay J.
Age 11
San Jose, CA

_____________________________

Hi, Lindsay!

Funny you should mention "Wizards of Waverly Place" because there was an episode last season in which Alex and Harper were getting bullied by Gigi and her cohorts. Alex cast a "truth spell" on Gigi, which totally embarrassed her and her friends. There's always an effective, non-violent approach to resolving conflicts with bullies!

We have all been bullied at different times in our lives, and it's not cool!

The Buddha saying that comes to mind is:

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."

The most important thing you have to understand is that it's not your fault. When someone bullies you, it's because they have low self-esteem issues or something is happening with them in their lives that is causing them to act badly towards others.

Now, knowing this, you'll be able to do what is hardest to do: ignore the bully. It's really hard to take the higher road and not resort to the same mean tactics that the bully is using, but violence never resolves anything and you don't want to give this bully any reason to justify being a mean person!

However..... to help you feel more confident, maybe you can enroll in some cool self-defense classes. Martial arts is a big part of Asian culture that has become mainstream all over the world, but it was developed as a defense art and must be used only as a last resort! The irony is, once you know how to defend yourself, bullies will never bother you because you'll look so confident! That's the dragon inside that can be seen on the outside!

Thanks for sharing your problem with us, Lindsay! Getting bullied is a hard thing to talk about, so we're really glad that you wrote to us, and we really hope that we gave you some insight that will help you. Please stay in touch and let us know how you're doing!

Lotsa' dragon love, peace, and joy,

B.B.